"The Office" Spec Script Cold Open

This is the "cold open" for my new spec script for The Office (NBC, Thursday nights). This is the part that usually runs right before the opening credits.

COLD OPEN
FADE IN:
INT. THE OFFICE - PAM’S DESK AND FRONT DOOR - DAY
PAM sits at her desk, typing. MICHAEL walks in the door, takes two steps and stops, presenting himself to her. He is up to his ears with beaded necklaces. He looks at Pam and giggles.

PAM
Hi Michael. I like your necklaces.

MICHAEL
I bet you do. Well if you want one, you’re going to have to earn it.

She looks over at JIM, who was has the phone receiver in his hand getting ready to make a call. Once he sees Michael he aborts the phone call.

JIM
What did you do last night Michael?

MICHAEL
Wouldn’t you like to know?

MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
Michael in his office.

MICHAEL
I saw a DVD last night. Got it accidentally from Netflix. I ordered season one of The Gilmore Girls, instead I got this other one. Girls Gone--crazy, something. Anyway, you would not believe what some girls will do for beads. Beads! I think today is going to be a good day.

JIM TALKING HEAD

JIM
The Gilmore Girls. The Gil-more Girls.

INT. THE OFFICE - PAM’S DESK AND FRONT DOOR - D1
MICHAEL tugs on one of his beaded necklaces.

MICHAEL
Pam, you ready to earn one of these things?

PAM is appalled.

PAM
No Michael, I’m not.

MICHAEL
Are you sure? Because I really want to give you one.

Michael turns to JIM and throws him a necklace.

MICHAEL (CONT'D)
Think fast!

JIM
What’s this for?

MICHAEL
For prior services rendered. Basketball. Shirts and skins. You were a skin. And I thank you.

Pam and Jim exchange looks that say “Wow.” Michael walks over to MEREDITH’S desk. DWIGHT perks up at his desk. Meredith sighs and continues doing her work.

DWIGHT
Michael, what are you doing? Meredith, do not take your shirt off.

He places a necklace over her head. She looks up.

MICHAEL
(under his breath)
I’ve got pictures.

MEREDITH TALKING HEAD

MEREDITH
I have a lot of those necklaces already. I use them for Christmas decorations. My tree collapsed last year.

INT. THE OFFICE - ACCOUNTING AREA -MOMENTS LATER - D1
Michael approaches ANGELA’S desk. Angela writes ferociously on a balance sheet. KEVIN, wide-eyed with anticipation, stands up to look over the divider at Angela. OSCAR leans back and crosses his arms.

MICHAEL
Angela, I would like you to--

ANGELA
No Michael.

MICHAEL
(whispering)
Angela. The human body is a beautiful, wonderful--

ANGELA
No!

Kevin is crushed. Michael turns to PHYLLIS and STANLEY. DWIGHT jumps up from his desk.

DWIGHT
Michael, I want one.

Dwight begins to unbutton his shirt.

MICHAEL
(scolding)
No Dwight! No! These are for women only.

DWIGHT
But Jim got one.

MICHAEL
Jim is different. Than you.

DWIGHT
What about Phyllis? Does she get one? Please say no.

Michael takes off one of the necklaces and weighs it in his hand, looking at Phyllis and Stanley, debating. Phyllis is terrified of what could happen next.

MICHAEL
Blech. No. No. No.
(turns to Dwight)
Dwight, put your shirt back on. Okay, take one. Saw a nipple.

Michael throws a necklace to Dwight, who catches it and raises a hand in victory.

DWIGHT
YESSS!

ANDY has his shirt off at his desk.

ANDY
Hit me, Michael. Hit me.

INT. PHYLLIS’ BEDROOM - DAY
Phyllis opens a drawer in her dresser. It is filled to the top with beaded necklaces. She pulls out a photo of herself at a much younger age on Bourbon Street. Parts of the photo are blurred out.

PHYLLIS
I got all these in New Orleans on spring break in ‘88. That was a fun night.
(looks at full drawer)
Bob Vance calls me a pack rat.

She looks at the picture of herself.

PHYLLIS (CONT'D)
I was a hottie.

INT. THE OFFICE - PAM’S DESK AND FRONT DOOR - D1

MICHAEL stands in the doorway to his office.

MICHAEL
Pam, last chance. Free beads?

PAM
No Michael.

MICHAEL
Well fine Pam. Deprive us all. Thanks for being a team player.

JIM
She can just borrow mine if she needs to.

MICHAEL
(conflict happily resolved)
Oh, well, that works. Here, take one more. In case you need a backup. Can’t be too careful.

Michael hands Jim an extra necklace and goes into his office.

END OF COLD OPEN