The Claymores Part 13

INT. SACRAMENTO CONVENTION CENTER DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Charlie and Carmen wheel the trunk into the corner of the room. Brock, Ezekiel and Karol all stand, waiting to see what’s in the trunk.

CHARLIE
You guys ready?

Charlie opens the trunk and pulls out a costume consisting of a traditional old world Scottish military dress uniform, complete with kilt and beret. Charlie loves it.

CHARLIE (CONT'D)
Eh? You like?

The others sit stone faced.

BROCK
What the hell is that?

CHARLIE
It’s our costume for the competition.

BROCK
Why?

CHARLIE
Because we have to dress alike. It’s part of the whole schtick of the show.

BROCK
Schtick? I don’t think we need a schtick.

CHARLIE
Look, it’s just a uniform, so we’re all dressed the same onstage.

KAROL
What are the swords for?

CHARLIE
Part of the costume. Scottish Claymores.

KAROL
Yeah, but . . . swords?

CHARLIE
We’re not going to use them. I just thought they looked cool.

EZEKIEL
Charlie, I’m not wearing that. Especially that skirt thing.

CHARLIE
That skirt thing is a kilt.

EZEKIEL
That skirt thing is a skirt, and I’m not wearing it.

CHARLIE
Guys, please. Just try them on. If you don’t like them, we won’t ever wear them again, okay?

EZEKIEL
Why would we ever wear them again anyway?

CHARLIE
Because we need them to get into the finals. We need to really nail this show. Like REALLY nail this show.

KAROL
Fine, you go first.

CHARLIE
What do you mean?

KAROL
I mean you go get dressed first and we’ll see what it looks like. If it isn’t totally ridiculous, I’ll think about it.

CHARLIE
All of you?

They look at each other and nod.

CHARLIE (CONT'D)
You’re on.

Charlie runs into the bathroom adjacent to the dressing room.

INT. SACRAMENTO CONVENTION CENTER DRESSING ROOM - LATER
Charlie walks tentatively out of the bathroom, dressed to the hilt in traditional Scottish garb. Kilt, sporran, beret, long socks, jacket and tie, claymore strapped to his side, the whole package. Carmen wolf whistles.

CARMEN
Nice.

Charlie does a quick dance step and ends with a flourish.

CHARLIE
Not bad, eh?

Karol gets up to take a closer look.

KAROL
Not bad. Not bad.
(to Brock and Ezekiel)
What do you think?

Deep thought.

BROCK
I can rock that.

EZEKIEL
Me too. Not as bad as I thought it would look.

There is a KNOCK at the door. A PAGE opens the door and sticks his head into the room.

PAGE
Claymores, this is your 30 minute call.

CHARLIE
Thanks.

The page leaves.

CARMEN
Game time fellas. Hurry and get dressed and let’s run the routine one last time before we hit it.

INT. SACRAMENTO CONVENTION CENTER AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
A barbershop quartet dressed in standard gear of black pants and striped shirts with suspenders leaves the stage. Anne walks onto the stage from the other side and takes the microphone.

ANNE
Let’s hear it for Sactown Synchrony. Give those guys a round of applause. And now, last but certainly not least, we have a group coming out of Las Vegas, The Claymores!

The lights dim.

INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
Charlie, Brock, Ezekiel and Karol stand on the side of the stage, frozen with stage fright.

EZEKIEL
They’re going to know, man, they’re going to know.

BROCK
Know what?

EZEKIEL
We’re not wearing underwear, man! Who does that? Who goes onstage with a dress on and no underwear?

CHARLIE
It’s not a dress, it’s a KILT.

EZEKIEL
You got any underwear on?

CHARLIE
Well, no.

KAROL
So we’re freeballing in front of all these people. That’s not right. It’s not right to freeball in front of grandmothers. There are grandmothers out there!

BROCK
I freeball all the time, what’s the big deal?

EZEKIEL
You gonna freeball in front of Nana?

BROCK
It’s not like she’s never seen balls before. She was married to Poppy for like 50 years, she did have kids. I’m sure she juggled some balls in her lifetime.

EZEKIEL
Okay now you’re crossing the line. You are CROSSING THE LINE! My Nana did not juggle Poppy’s balls!

INT. SACRAMENTO CONVENTION CENTER AUDITORIUM - SAME
“My Nana did not juggle Poppy’s balls!” resonates through the silent crowd. Shocked faces abound, with a few sultry looks from some grandmothers in the audience.

INT. BACKSTAGE - SAME
Ezekiel has Brock by the lapel, threatening to choke him while Charlie and Karol try to separate them. The page comes up behind them.

PAGE
Claymores. You’re on! Go!

Ezekiel releases Brock. Karol smooths out Brock’s outfit.

ANNE(O.S.)
Ladies and gentlemen, The Claymores!

PAGEGo! Go! Go!

The four of them take a deep breath, and then--

INT. SACRAMENTO CONVENTION CENTER AUDITORIUM - SAME
A barking military cadence from O.S. Charlie leads The Claymores on stage in a military-style jogging cadence, followed by Karol, then Brock and Ezekiel in the same cadence. They stop with several feet between them, covering the entire stage.

Charlie draws his sword. The others follow suit. They break into a rendition of “Citizen Soldier” made popular by the band 3 Doors Down. During the singing of the song, they engage in a very complex set of choreography involving the swords. They sound pretty good. The choreography is good, the boys stumble a few times, but the overall performance is very entertaining.

When they finish, the crowd sits stunned for a beat. Then, a STANDING OVATION. The Claymores run giddily off the stage.

INT. BACKSTAGE - SAME
The Claymores give each other high fives and celebrate their performance. Carmen gives each one a hug.

ANNE(O.S.)Well, that didn’t take long. Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like the judges have made a decision. The winner of this year’s West Coast Barbershop Quartet competition, moving on to the national finals in two weeks in Las Vegas, Nevada, is . . . The Claymores!

The audience erupts. The Claymores are dumbfounded.

CHARLIEWe won?

CARMEN
Get out there! Go!

KAROL
We won!

They run, jubilantly back onto the stage.

INT. SACRAMENTO CONVENTION CENTER PERFORMANCE STAGE - SAME
Anne holds out a trophy to The Claymores as they run to the center of the stage. Brock and Ezekiel try to elbow each other out of the way to accept the trophy. Karol outmaneuvers both of them to take it from Anne. Charlie grabs the microphone.

CHARLIE
You like us! You really, really like us!

Movement in the audience catches Charlie’s eye. A couple in middle aisle seats gets up and hurriedly runs from the theater. It is Tabitha and Darwin DeCloud.

CHARLIE (CONT'D)
Hey, is that Tabi--?

He drops the microphone, runs and jumps off the front of the stage. Unfortunately, there is an orchestra pit and Charlie tumbles from sight with a great CRASH.

KAROL
Where the hell did Charlie go?

He looks over the edge, Charlie is tangled in a heap of chairs on his back at the bottom of the orchestra pit.

KAROL (CONT'D)
What are you doing?

CHARLIE
Go catch that girl. That’s Shamus’ girlfriend.

KAROL
What girl?

CHARLIE
The one leaving down the center aisle with that guy. Hurry!

Karol turns for a second and quickly talks to Brock and Ezekiel. He turns and leaps easily over the orchestra pit, chasing Tabitha.

CUT TO:
INT. ORCHESTRA PIT - SAME
Charlie looks up as Karol sails over the orchestra pit, sans underwear.

CHARLIE Could’ve done without that visual.

Charlie extricates himself from the chairs and climbs out of the orchestra pit.